Renaissance Woman
by notmyname0123456789
Summary: Set after 'Safe'. The crew gets a new addition when an old family friend of Wash's/war buddy of Mal and Zoe's appears on board one day. The gang eagerly take her in as the new cook. Problem one- she's a wanted fugitive. Problem two- she's the back-up merc and becomes Jayne's new partner in crime. Please R&R. Rated T because I felt like it.
1. Stowaway

**Sorry if anyone is a bit out of character. I hope you like my OC. Some chapters will be retellings of episodes, and others will be in-between jobs.**

**Disclaimer: Joss is Boss**

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River stopped what she was doing and looked at the pilot across the table from her. "Happy birthday, Wash." She said, and then went back to her book.

Wash looked at her incredulously. "How did you know it was my birthday? Zoe did you tell her it was my birthday?" He looked at his wife in the kitchen.

"No, dear, I didn't tell anyone that it was your birthday." She chopped up a carrot and put it into the protein-based soup she was making for the crew.

"Well happy birthday, Wash!" Kaylee chirped from her place on the couch.

"River," Wash took his feet off of the table. "How did you know it was my birthday?" He got his answer when someone screamed down the hallway. Footsteps were pounding towards the dining area, followed by another pair of heavy footsteps. A small, screaming girl flew into the room, finally getting tackled by the ship's mercenary.

"Zoe! Help me, gorramit! We got a stowaway!" He wrestled with the girl grabbing her wrists as he sat on her legs.

"Get off me!" She said as she tried to free her hands. Jayne laughed at the thought as he shifted both the girl's hands into one of his paws and took out his knife with his free one. He held it to the girl's throat.

"Why are you on this ship?"

"I think it'd be best for both of us if you were to get offa me mister." The girl managed to get her leg to kick Jayne in the back, but he acted as if nothing happened.

"Yeah? 'N' why's that?" He asked slowly cutting her upper arm with his knife.

"I don't even know you're name there, uh… Tiger." Jayne growled at the nickname. "See? You even growl like a tiger. I think it fits!"

The girl overpowered Jayne's left arm and used both of their fists to sock him in the jaw. He became dazed long enough for the stowaway to scramble out from beneath him and run towards the other door. She almost made it too, when a bullet pinged off of the metal doorframe right next to her head. The girl was so surprised by the near impact that her feet shot out from beneath her and she landed hard on her backside, hair sticking to her mouth.

"Private Tyler! Just what do you think you're doing on this ship?" Zoe smiled as she helped the fallen girl up.

"Just delivering a package, Lieutenant." She saluted and tried to keep from smiling. "It's good to see you, Zoe."

Zoe hugged her old war-buddy. "It's good to see you too, Maryanne." The two women laughed and hugged until Wash came over and interrupted them.

"No hug for me?" The pilot hugged the girl hard and long, lifting her shoulders, he hugged her so hard.

"Hobe. Hobe, you're hurting me." She said. He let go of her, apologizing, and she fixed her glasses, smiling at her two old friends. "Oh, man. It's so good seeing you two together. I never would have put ya together. But then again I didn't get to go to your wedding, did I?" She joked and pulled her wavy hair back into a ponytail.

"Well, we couldn't very well invite you when you were still in war prison now could we?" Wash became a little flustered and ran a hand through his already spiky hair.

"Hang on." Kaylee had gotten up from the couch and moved closer to the reunited friends. "Just what is going on here?"

"Yeah," Jayne growled out. He pointed his drawn knife at the group and waved it as he talked. "Just who are you? And what were you doing in the crew bunks?"

"I-"

"I heard shootin'-", Mal came into the room and saw the stowaway. "Maryanne!" he shouted. His cry was answered with an equal 'sarge' and the two charged each other. Maryanne hugged Mal like she never had and he picked her up and spun her around, overcome with seeing his old friend. Inara was stuck behind Mal, just barely in the doorway.

"What- what are you doing here, Private?" He asked grinning ear to ear. He moved towards the kitchen table and the entire crew seemed to move with him. Everyone took a seat except Inara, who went into the kitchen to make some tea for the new arrival.


	2. Wash Gets a Present

"What- what are you doing here, Private?" Mal asked grinning ear to ear. He moved towards the kitchen table and the entire crew seemed to move with him. Everyone took a seat except Inara, who went into the kitchen to make some tea for the new arrival.

"I remembered Zoe saying that she was taken up on a ship called 'Serenity'," Private Tyler said as she took a seat between River and Wash at the table. "She kept writing me when the Alliance wouldn't let me out of prison. I saw the ship in port and figured that it might be fun to sneak on and drop off Hobe's birthday present!" She smiled and looked at Wash. "Happy birthday, Hobe!"

Wash smiled and his face flushed at the nickname. "What'd you get me?"

"I can't _tell_ you. It's a present. Go get it!" Maryanne smiled as Wash jumped up to find his present. She watched him leave and turned back to Mal. "I didn't know you ran this ship, Sarge. I take it you're in charge of the… jobs?"

"Yeah. But I'm not a sergeant any more; I'm captain of this here ship. This is my crew." Mal's voice caught a bit when he said 'crew' like it always did. You had to listen close, but you could tell he stuck to his men. "This here is Kaylee," he pointed to the smiling brunette next to him. "She's the best mechanic this side of the 'Verse. Sweetest, too." He ruffled Kaylee's hair. "You already know Wash 'n Zoe."

Mal moved his arm as Inara handed out cups of tea to the people around the table. "But… why do you call him 'Hobe'?"

"Oh, that." Maryanne smiled as she took the tea from Inara. "Thank you. When I first met Hobe, he had run away from his family to 'see the stars'. My brother and I found him eating wild berries on our property and we took him in. The first time we met, I could never pronounce 'Hoban' so Hobe just stuck." Maryanne sipped her tea trying no to slurp it. It was really good, but really hot.

"Wash never told us that." Kaylee said.

Maryanne shrugged. "Well… I just did!" Kaylee smiled and sipped her tea as Inara took her place next to the mechanic.

"Captain," Simon came into the room, wringing his hands. "Is everything all right?" He looked around and spotted the new addition at the table. "Who's this?"

Maryanne continued smiling though she made a note of the man's tone. He sounded exhausted and a bit or a prick. "I'm Maryanne Tyler," she waved her hand in an arching motion. "I'm new."

"Uh, hello." Simon said to her. "Captain, can I have a word with you?"

"I don't know." Maryanne said inquisitively. "Can you?"

Zoe smiled; she really missed Private Tyler and her jokes. She didn't get to laugh as much as she did in the war.

Simon opened his mouth to respond but was stopped by a sudden "Alright!" coming from the crew bunks. Wash ran in holding an open box in his hands and ran to hug Maryanne, his floral shirt flapping.

"Thank! You!" He wrapped his arms around her, jostling her glasses once again as he hugged his friend. River smiled and leaned over the table to look into the small box.

"What'da'ya get 'im?" Jayne shifted in his seat.

"She got me a pterodactyl!" Wash reached into the small box and brandished a plastic dinosaur with wings. "It was the only one I needed! Now… my dinosaurs can fly when I do!" Wash waved the dino around and began making spaceship noises. "Rawrrr!"

"Rawrr!" River reached for the toy and Wash handed it over once he realized the others were staring at him. "'Pterodactyl'. 'Winged Lizard'. They could fly as fast as 2 miles an hour and were very protective of their young. They laid eggs on Earth-that-was." River smiled and stared at the toy in her hand, rubbing her thumb over one of its wings.

"Yes." Wash said trying to contain his excitement. "Yes well, thank you. Maryanne." He patted her head. "I better… get back to piloting." He grabbed the dinosaur out of River's hands much to her dismay, and ran back to the bridge.

"Uh, anyways." Mal said. "Intros. I was introducing you to the crew. This," he pointed to Simon still standing in the doorway. "This is our ship's doctor, Simon. And his sister, River." Mal pointed to River on the other side of Maryanne. "Simon," Mal stood up and put an arm around his former private. "You could learn a thing or two from this little gal. She was the best army medic Independence ever saw. Alliance too." Maryanne laughed at the compliment.

"No. I've never had any professional training. But I'm glad to hear this ship has a doctor. Knowing these two," she gestured to Mal and Zoe, "They'll probably get hurt every two weeks."

"Yes. Well," Simon seemed to ignore the comment and gestured so the two could talk alone. "Captain?"

Mal frowned and looked at Maryanne. She shrugged. "It's your ship not mine." He nodded and followed Simon out the door to the infirmary. On the way out he bumped into Shepard Book. "Sorry, Preacher. Why don't you go meet our new recruit?"

Book watched Simon and Mal disappear down the corridor. "New recruit?" He walked into the kitchen area and saw a new face. "Hello."

Maryanne looked up and smiled. "Hello." Book walked over and introduced himself. He held out his hand and Maryanne stood up and shook it. "Good to meet you, Pastor Book. I'm Maryanne."

"Pastor? I… think you mean Preacher." Kaylee said.

"No, no. Pastors and Preachers are the same in the eyes of the Lord." Book smiled and picked up Mal's untouched cup of tea. "Do you mind if I?" He asked looking around the room, not knowing whose cup it was.

"Ah." Inara had been sitting at the table quietly, not intervening with the reunion. "I'll pour you a hot cup. This one is cold." Inara moved to take the cup.

"Oh please." Maryanne stood up and took the cup from Book before Inara could. "Allow me." She moved into the kitchen and walked around until she found the teapot. "And… I don't think I caught your name miss." Maryanne turned her head around too fast, causing her ponytail to tickle her neck.

"Inara." She smiled. "Inara Serra."

"Well, _Inara_. You make excellent tea!" Maryanne gave Book his tea and turned to the woman. "And I love your dress. It's all…" Maryanne waved her hands in an ocean motion to symbolize the waving fabric.

"Shiny. You look shiny today, 'Nara." Kaylee said. Inara thanked her and excused herself to her cabin. River followed her.

"Well. Now that you've met everybody, Kaylee would you mind showing Maryanne the ship?" Zoe walked back into the kitchen to continue with her soup.

"Sure!"

"I haven't met everybody, though." Maryanne smiled and turned to Jayne who had started cleaning his nails with his knife. "Either he introduces himself like everybody else has, or I just keep calling him Tiger." Kaylee's face fell.

"Uh, Maryanne? He's not going to introduce himself." Jayne looked up at the women, his face expressionless. "'Specially not after you beating him in a fight like that."

"No girl beat me in a fight!" Jayne snapped, cutting his finger. "Damn."

"This one did!" Kaylee pointed towards Maryanne. "Where'd she go?" Kaylee looked next to her and saw that Maryanne had rushed into the kitchen and grabbed a rag. She ran back out towards Jayne.

"Get away from me, woman!" Jayne swatted at her, as she tried to wrap his thumb.

"You're bleeding!" She exclaimed. "We need to apply pressure, or the cut could get infected."

"I'm fine, now leave me alone." Jayne sheathed his knife and stood up. He sucked on his thumb, trying to stop it from bleeding. "Don't need no doctoring for a scratch." Jayne left the room, his boots pounding against the metal grating.

"C'mon." Kaylee looped her arm through Maryanne's. "I'll show you all my favorite spots on this girl." The mechanic led her out the door, past the crew bunks, and into the engine room. "This is where I work my magic, Miss Tyler."


End file.
